I want the life everyone thinks I have

I don't want to cry no more & I don't want to hurt no more. I don't want to love anymore especially if it causes this. I don't want no part of it because it hurts me so bad. Even when it's sunny outside it still feels like it's raining.

I come in here and I sit in silence and hear the echoes of who we used to be. And so I wish for patience, grace and strenght to just let him be happy. Mostly I pray for the strenght to not make his life worse because of what I want. That's the toughest part, letting go. That's the part of grace that really sucks.

xxx Char