& he said:

I had a dream about you last night
I dreamed that you were dead
When I woke up I wanted to call
And get it out of my head
But we don't talk anymore
I made sure of that
But I'd give anything to hear your voice
I would do better if I could go back
I'm sorry for your tears
I'm sorry I never told you in all of these years
I didn't leave you like I should
I hope you found someone to love you like I tried to
But never could

I always knew that it wasn't right
To get involved with you
But I never thought that you would fall so fast
Got me to thinkin', what the hell am I gonna do?
But now you seem like you're fine
Like you've moved on with your life
But I'd give anything to talk to you
And tell you I know I didn't treat you right.

xxx Char

I've got you under my skin

I've got you under my skin
I've got you deep in the heart of me
So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me
I've got you under my skin

I try so not to give in
I said to myself this affair, it never will go so well
But why should I try to resist when baby, I know damn well
That I've got you under my skin

I'd sacrifice anything come what might
For the sake of having you near, in spite
Of a warning voice that comes in the night
It repeats, repeats in my ear

Don't you know you fool, you never can win
Use your mentality, wake up to reality
But each time I do, just the thought of you makes me stop just before I begin
Because I've got you under my skin

I would sacrifice anything come what might
For the sake of having you near, in spite
Of a warning voice that comes in the night
It repeats, how it yells in my ear

Don't you know you fool, ain`t no chance to win
Why not use your mentality, get up, wake up to reality
And each time I do, just the thought of you
Makes me stop just before I begin
Because I've got you under my skin

And I like you under my skin

xxx Char

The evil remains

I'm not the same child that I once was
I left my compassion on the side of the road
When I learned the power of ego and confidence,
All to please you
But I'm sure that you regret it now
I'm sure that you regret me now
Because I fucking do
I do
All my desire and all my innocence burned away
Just the evil remains, just the judgements remain
And here I stand king of the mountain, all alone,
Surrounded by pain that I brought on myself

xxx Char

Regret

I shouldn't need to wish that I am all I am not
I shouldn't need to always offer you my thoughts, but I do
And I've opened myself up to the wrong and felt that pain
And I've opened myself all up to you and felt the same
Please don't explain, just let me continue dreaming.
You understand what hurts me but I was the one who made that known
And now it seems my time is over and I need some time alone.
Why must I be affected
By the words of those who know not what they've said?
You're no longer someone I'll remember
But someone I'll regret

xxx Char

Waar ik sta

Ik probeer je te vergeten, maar waar ik ook ben, ik kom je tegen
In m’n gedachte blijf je me achtervolgen, je leeft nog in me
En steeds wanneer ik denk ‘oke nu heb ik jou verbannen'
Krijg ik een smsje ‘lieve schat, ik hou zo van je’
Ik heb een antwoord klaar, twijfel of ik terug zal sturen
Ik vraag mezelf af ‘hoelang gaat deze shit nog duren’
Het slijt met de tijd en ze zeggen dat ik verder kan
Hoe kan ik denken dat ik niet aan jou moet denken dan?
Ik bel je toch weer op om nog een keer je stem te horen
Zeg dat het goed gaat, maar het gaat niet goed, want shit ik ben verloren
Je trekt steeds naar me toe en ik naar jou, wat is dit nou?
Ik kan niet loslaten terwijl ik je niet vast kan houden
Als dit zo doorgaat word ik gek ik moet de knoop doorhakken
Maar denken dat je van me houdt maakt het zo lastig als een motherfucker
Moet ik je nooit meer zien? Ik zou het echt niet weten
Maar ik probeer je te vergeten...

xxx Char

I'm taking these Polaroids

Seven A.M. and I wake to find an empty spot where you'd lay
and I think that its a bad start to this Saturday.
You'll use a copy-cat reason for your delay
and I'll nod my head and smile.

I know around ten that you'll finally decide to roll in
and your give me that little wink & small grin
and I'd let it go again but not this time..

I'm taking these Polaroids so you'll remember
the way it was before you left me for her.
And with each flash comes a sweet, sweet memory.
I hope that when she does you wrong you think of me.
Yea, I hope that she cheats just like you cheat.

It's 7 PM and you're calling saying
"I'm working late, don't wait up for me."
I say I love you and hang up the phone-
it's funny how you think that I don't know... but

I'm taking these Polaroids so you'll remember
the way it was before you left me for her.
And with each flash comes a sweet, sweet memory.
I hope that when she does you wrong you think of me.
Yea, I hope that she cheats just like you cheat.

Yea, you think I'm so clueless & my life would be hopeless without you in it.
I'd write a letter with reason of why I'm better without you, but I don't know where to begin it.
And tomorrow when you come home, your stuff will be stacked and damp with gasoline..
Strike 1, strike 2, strike 3 - you're out, hope you don't miss your things.

xxx Char

Hang in there