Everything I know in life I learned from...

* Never use "We were on a break" as an excuse
* Remember, it's not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy and it is a big deal
* Everybody had a lobster
* Quitting the gym is just as hard as quitting the bank
* For more space in bed, use the "hug and roll" technique
* Yemen is a good place to escape unwanted girlfriends
* You can do a lot with just cups and ice
* Always say the right name at the altar
* Powder and lotion will not help remove hot and sticky leather trousers
* 'man bags' aren't manly
* Don't count 'mississippily' when in a tanning booth
* "How you doin" never fails
* If stung by a jellyfish, pee on it
* Never let a monkey near a TV remote
* Only in prison do they 'cup' whilst measuring for pants
* It's not Smelly Cat's fault
* Always read make-up letters all the way through, even if they are 18 pages long. FRONT and BACK!
* You should leave your synth keyboard in de 80s where it belongs
* A nap with your best friend could be the best nap you've ever had
* Never let slip to a child that they are in fact adopted
* Meat is not an igredient in trifle
* There's no such thing as shark porn
* Your first name is not your 'family name'
* Throwing your own wake is not a good way to meet weomen
* A 'day of fun' is a good way to get to know someone
* Everyone is intitled to a 'freebie' list of 5 celebrities they can sleep with if the opportunity arises
* W.E.N.U.S stands for.. ummm?...
* Don't leave teeth whitening gel on for longer than recommended
* Never bet your apartment in a game of 'who knows who'
* Taping Oven Mitts to your hands will prevent you from scratching chicken-pox
* Never put your head in a Turkey
* Wooden spoons and toy trucks make great massaging tools
* Never let a duck and a chick near a fussball table
* 'Pheebs' is short for Phoebe, it's not just what we call our friends
* Never pose for a V.D. poster campain
* Ugly, naked and guy do not make for an attractive combination
* Playing too much on arcade machines can lead to getting 'the claw'
* A silent auction is not a contest to guess the right price
* When moving a couch upstairs, Pivot
* It's possible to drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds
* Regina Falange and Ken Adams make great false names
* Eating too much meat can cause 'meat sweats'
* Everyone has an identical hand twin

Regrets

If you look right the way, you see that the whole world is a garden

-Frances Hodgson Burnett

Je bent mijn vriendin

Er is een plek, en daar staat iedereen die ik liefheb. Ik zie vanaf mijn plek allemaal paden. En al mijn dierbaren willen een ander pad bewandelen. We bewandelen ons eigen pad, en soms doorkruisen de paden elkaar, en dan kom ik een dierbare tegen. Even later verlies ik die persoon weer uit het oog. Misschien uren, dagen of jaren. Plots hield een dierbare op met het bewandelen van haar pad. En ik had werkelijk geen idee waar ze was. Ik ging terug naar mijn plek, en daar staat ze nog steeds iedere dag.

xxx Char